The Roast

I ran into a former student a few days and we chatted ago about his time as an eighth grader. He is now about 22, and he made the comment, Kids these days..." and immediately stopped himself. I joked that he was starting to sound like an old man, and he said, "Yeah, I heard it and that's why I didn't finish the sentence." We laughed and I asked him if he remembered anything about his eighth grade year. He said that he didn't remember a whole lot, but he was told by the former principal that his eighth grade class was the worst he had ever seen. 

I asked him if he was in the class of 20**, and he confirmed.

"Yeah, that was a long year," was my comment. "I don't hold eighth grade year against anyone, although I do remember. I remember all the resistance, protests, and rebellions over so many small things that year. My first hour class once erupted into argument upon hearing in the announcements that they had to put a vegetable on their tray in the lunch line."

That's when he started talking about "the roast" and how many of his classmates were having fun roasting each other, especially during lunch, because that was an online trend at the time. When the principal banned the roast, a lot of the eighth grade participants got angry. They even hung protest posters around the school, which were promptly removed when found by staff. Another reason to be angry. 

This school year, it was one argument after another, over tardies, phones, walking on the right in the hallway, end of day dismissal, assignments, teachers, class disruptions. During a behavioral review activity, one of the sixth grade teachers commented to me on the behavior of the eighth grade students in his group, "I have a newfound respect for eighth grade teachers. This group has argued with everyone all afternoon."

I explained to my former student that even though the roast seemed like fun and games to eighth graders, it was something else entirely from a teacher's perspective. If it persisted, it could have been seen as bullying or harassment. If it escalated from roasting your friends who were willing participants to roasting others who were not in consent, it would certainly be considered bullying. If the friends who were laughing while getting roasted were only pretending to laugh to fit in, but were inwardly humiliated and hurt, mental health and self confidence would be sacrificed. And then there's parent perception. How would the parents of a "roasted" student suffering the mental and psychological consequences feel about the school allowing such behavior? 

He said he understood all of those things as an adult, but as an eighth grader, he couldn't see that. As an educator who has spent the last 23 school years in daily contact with eighth graders, I knew that his statement was true. Eighth graders don't tend to see the perspectives of adults. But why?

Since that conversation, I've been thinking a lot about why many eighth graders are this way. 

They are on the cusp of greater independence, and they crave it so deeply. Nobody enjoys being told what to do, and eighth graders seem to dislike it more than any other age group. They want to be able to do as they like. They think they are ready for the next level of independence (high school) and they want all the privileges now. I often hear things like "high schoolers can have their phones out in the halls and at lunch" and "high schoolers can roam the hallways before school". That's true; many high schools do allow such things. It's a privilege of being a high school student. Eighth graders aren't really in a place to understand that. 

So they rebel. In my 23 years, this has generally taken the form of small acts of rebellion that really don't cause major problems. They are mostly bite-sized assertions of independence, but not major acts of rebellion and argument like the group mentioned above. 

They take the long way and walk slowly when traveling from class to class. They sneak their phones out in their lockers or under desks. They wear clothes that don't quite meet the dress code and tug them into place questioned. They hide food in their bags to snack in class. There are a lot of these small acts that happen everyday, and for years, they have mostly NOT led to major problems.

In the years since "the roast", it seems that this is changing. There is more anger. Those kids were angry, especially at any form of authority. Several of the students in that class had lost a parent, and eighth grade year is hard enough without also having to process it while grieving. I saw pain coming to the surface in their acts of rebellion that year, as pain is often the source of such things.

This type of behavior is becoming more common in middle schools, and eighth grades as a whole seem angrier and less willing to cooperate with school staff. Am I saying that all students are this way? Certainly not. But since that hard year, it has become more common. What has changed to bring this about? I believe the cause to be smart phones and constant access to online technology. 

Why are our kids becoming more angry, more depressed, more anxious, less able to cope, less willing to cooperate? These changes coincide with the nearly constant and instant access to social media, instant messaging, and the like. Kids aren't coping with the barrage of online messaging that tells them that they need more, that their lives aren't Insta-worthy, and that if you can't have it right now, you have to be sad or angry. 

The school year I mentioned above happened PRE-pandemic, so blaming Covid is a cop-out. The phones are the root of these issues. Period.